Embracing the grimly inevitable diss abyss

Diss tracks are back. 

OK, they’ve probably been back for a while now. Kendrick performed perhaps the most famous example of recent years at the Super Bowl, the very definition of mainstream.

In a more niche, and arguably less talented example, a current ‘beef’ between Alabama Barker and ‘Bhad Babie’ (we won’t judge if you have to Google them) has been characterised by some questionable diss tracks (NSFW, or really anywhere that taste exists) that are having a moment in a particular corner of TikTok.

When a trend reaches saturation, we all know what comes next. Enter, brands.

The years of the brand beef, perhaps characterised most famously by the ‘Get a Mac’ campaign of 2006-2009, appeared to be in the rearview, at least outside of the courtroom and the boardroom.

But as AI has opened up a new front in the fight for market share, competitive juices have started flowing, led by Salesforce chief executive Marc Benioff’s war of words against Microsoft. And with politics around the world showing increasingly nationalistic tendencies, the era of kumbaya is seemingly koncluded.

So we say bring on the diss tracks. Let McDonald’s find something to rhyme with burger (burgher or turgor, apparently - good luck). Accept tech brands fitting AI into every line. Put Mecca and Sephora on a stage, the winner gets prime position at the new Western Sydney International airport.

It’s grimly inevitable. We may as well embrace it.