I do?

Who doesn’t love a wedding? From a cultural perspective, at least, it appears we’re pretty obsessed with them. 

This week, Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid set tongues wagging by wearing matching rings, fuelling rumours they may have secretly got married. The couple, arguably most famous for voicing a raccoon and being the daughter of a RHOBH cast member respectively, have yet to comment.

Tom Holland and Zendaya are already married, but this simple fact has been mined for more column inches and social content than you could ever imagine following the launch of the new Spiderman movie. 

It’s not just in the realm of celebrity. New figures that showed the number of marriages falling caused a fair bit of attention, much of it absolutely insane. 

Family First National Director Lyle Shelton blamed government policy and, inevitably, same‑sex marriages. Lyle is clearly just sad and bigoted, but if he’s ever interested in the real reason for fewer marriages, he should perhaps get some quotes from a florist, make-up artist, venue, or dressmaker during a cost of living crisis. 

The Catholic Church, never an institution to be outdone on these things, also had an interesting perspective. Over in the US, Cardinal Raymond Burke urged Catholics to be prepared for martyrdom in defence of marriage, which feels a bit much. Have they tried just proposing?

It’s not just the start of a supposedly lifelong commitment that fascinates us. Divorce is big news too. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are facing a new ‘secret divorce’ claim, Frankie Muniz had to delete his divorce announcement amid a backlash from fans, and influencer Abbey Wellman’s divorce party made headlines for featuring a list of the worst things her ex-husband allegedly did during their marriage.

Marriage rates may be falling, but we’re still fascinated by the institution. Although perhaps not quite prepared to die for it.