The Cave #3
One of Allegory’s core tenets is being a mix of ‘deadly serious and seriously fun’.
We’re going to put that to the test this week, as we tackle diss tracks, MAFS, and frivolous spending.
It’s the Alpe d'Huez of vibe shifts. Here goes.
Comms
Embracing the grimly inevitable diss abyss
Diss tracks are back.
OK, they’ve probably been back for a while now. Kendrick performed perhaps the most famous example of recent years at the Super Bowl, the very definition of mainstream.
In a more niche, and arguably less talented example, a current ‘beef’ between Alabama Barker and ‘Bhad Babie’ (we won’t judge if you have to Google them) has been characterised by some questionable diss tracks (NSFW, or really anywhere that taste exists) that are having a moment in a particular corner of TikTok.
When a trend reaches saturation, we all know what comes next. Enter, brands.
The years of the brand beef, perhaps characterised most famously by the ‘Get a Mac’ campaign of 2006-2009, appeared to be in the rearview, at least outside of the courtroom and the boardroom.
But as AI has opened up a new front in the fight for market share, competitive juices have started flowing, led by Salesforce chief executive Marc Benioff’s war of words against Microsoft. And with politics around the world showing increasingly nationalistic tendencies, the era of kumbaya is seemingly koncluded.
So we say bring on the diss tracks. Let McDonald’s find something to rhyme with burger (burgher or turgor, apparently - good luck). Accept tech brands fitting AI into every line. Put Mecca and Sephora on a stage, the winner gets prime position at the new Western Sydney International airport.
It’s grimly inevitable. We may as well embrace it.
Culture
A note on MAFS
A brief pause for our normally irreverent tone. We’re going to talk about MAFS.
Sunday’s episode reached 3,265,000 Australians, by far the highest rated TV show in the country.
That meant more than 8% of the population saw a man, who earlier that week punched a hole through a door during an argument with his ‘wife’ be subjected to the most cursory investigation by so-called experts and allowed to continue on the show with no repercussions.
The backlash has been understandably strong, including a petition campaign launched by What Were You Wearing, a not-for-profit organisation fighting to end sexual violence, which at the time of writing has passed 10,000 signatories.
It was a situation so shocking, it almost completely overshadowed another of the men repeatedly telling his partner what to say.
The superb Women and Girls Emergency Centre provides an excellent summary here.
In 2024, 78 women were killed in Australia due to gender-based violence. In 2023, it was 64. In 2022, 56. 2021 , 44.
MAFS is not the cause of this. But something has to be done. And Australia’s most watched show is not the worst place to start.
For support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.
Curiosities
How to spend $123m
Did you know there’s a cost of living crisis? Even with interest rates finally falling, everyone has become used to tightening their belts and being a little more careful with how they spend their hard-earned dollars (or 78c on the dollar for those on the wrong side of this week's WGEA wage gap news).
Well, almost everyone. Because after spending $123m to win one seat in parliament in 2022, Clive Palmer is at it again, with his new party, Trumpet of Patriots.
Turn on a commercial TV channel, and you’ll almost certainly see Clive or party leader Suellen Wrightson very obviously reading from cue cards in a brightly coloured yet somehow poorly produced political ad.
Palmer’s 2022 record won’t quite be broken, with Labor’s newly passed political donation laws restricting Clive to a measly $90 million maximum spend on this year’s campaign.
This got us thinking, on a topic obviously completely unrelated to anything the infamously litigious Palmer has ever done, what’s our own biggest waste of money?
One Allegorist, for example, bought a keyboard, despite having no musical talent. Somehow, two own tattoo guns, despite having very few artistic sensibilities. Another bought a hula hoop that was never used. A third signed everyone up to a personality test that came with an unsuspecting and pricey monthly subscription.
At least we can take comfort in the one thing that is always great value (and would never need or recommend a ~$90M paid media spend) - a good comms agency.