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It’s the last Campaign Curiosities before the big day! 

And what a campaign it’s been. It’s had it all, it’s just a shame neither we nor anyone else can actually remember any of it.

Hopefully by now we’ve all learned to never entirely trust the polls, but if they are correct, Albo may be on the verge of doing a ScoMo (2019, not 2022). 

Peter Dutton’s bus getting stuck in the middle of a rock-solid Labor seat could be a sign the zealous Mr Morrison would appreciate. We’ll leave it there on the Leader of the Opposition, however, for fear of being branded hate media

Albo, meanwhile, has been busy explaining to Donald Trump that ‘new number, who dis?’ is of course a perfectly acceptable cultural reference in 2025 but actually it’s the Australian Prime Minister if he’d like a chat?

Regardless of the result, we’ll be up late tomorrow night, excitedly texting friends as seats get called. Hopefully with a little more discretion and punctuation than Trumpet of Patriots’ latest attempt at ‘campaigning’.

It’s less the indiscriminate spam that caught our attention, more the nonsensical content:

Solve housing fast trains 20 min CBD cheaper land. Super for deposit 3% interest, cut immigration by 80%.

That’s verbatim. It’s like ChatGPT took something at a party that it swore was paracetamol but maybe not now it’s stumbling home to hurriedly finish an assignment for Palmer and co.

Next week we’ll be back to regular curiosities unless a hung Parliament means we still don’t have a new government, in which case you’ll be able to enjoy our new section, Clusterf**k Curiosities. 

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Sensationalism as standard

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Australia’s Bad Romance